The taste sensation that's sweeping the nation

We have been conducting an on-going campaign against mice over recent months - and up until this afternoon I thought they were winning. Here's a message I didn't expect to find propped against the toaster last week.  

Even before I spotted Dave's note, I knew there was something up because when I walked into the kitchen, the toaster was rattling.  I considered the alternatives - demon possession of our electrical goods? poltergeist? - and had already concluded that a mouse had gone hunting crumbs and got stuck.  The toaster gets a shake in the garden but the mouse must have good claws because nothing emerges apart from crumbs.  So I leave the toaster upside down and get on with organising breakfast and when I return to it later, it is quiet and there are no signs of mousey inhabitants.  Excellent.  Toaster returns to service.

Over recent days, I have been detecting an unpleasant odour in our kitchen.  I check for the obvious causes - bin? compost bucket? Harriet's bottom? discarded nappy lurking under the sofa? waste disposal? - and draw blanks everywhere.  This afternoon, I was sniffing around again and this time my nose passed over the toaster and - do you think you can see where this is heading? - it STINKS.  Oh my stars, I think - is this the aroma of mouse wee that has been maturing for a couple of weeks?  How many times have we used the toaster recently?  Recall that - oh God - I used it this morning and Harriet, Tilly and I have consumed toast infused with fumes of mouse wee.

So I pick up the toaster, peer inside - are those bits of mouse poo or just crumbs? - turn it upside down and this is what I spot:

I'm afraid to say I shriek like a girl at the sight of the beady eye staring glassily back at me, dump the toaster in the garage and then laugh manically for a minute when I realise that in fact we ate toast infused with fumes of TOASTED DEAD MOUSE.

In the interests of scientific enquiry, I can report that the toast tasted no different and there have been no ill effects.  So far.

That's it for the toaster though.  I don't think I could bring myself to use it again, even though it was a wedding present.  (Sorry, Helen Wright!)

And while we're blogging about disgusting things, here's a lovely little extra for you.  The scene:  Harriet is rather snotty.  Tilly goes up to Harriet.  Tilly licks Harriet's nose.

T [with satisfaction]: I sucked Harriet's snot!
H: what???!!!!
T: I love snot.

Oh well - it's all good fodder for the immune system Dave says!!